Listening With An Open Heart
Being A Good Listener
Everyone appreciates a good listener. We all know
how wonderful it is to be able to have someone to share our life with, whether
it is the joys and frustrations of being a new parent, the excitement of a new
career, the heartache of a lost love, or simple chitchat. At times, we all want
and need to be heard. It is equally important then that we develop the skills to
lend a helping ear to others.
Being a good listener means being an
active listener by being fully present when someone is talking to you. Making
eye contact when someone is speaking helps to connect us to one another. It also
keeps us focused on what is being said, rather than what we are thinking. We
need to not only hear words, but also to read body language and understand
feelings. It goes without saying that we shouldn't interrupt someone when they
are talking, or to judge and criticize, but often we fall into such habits
without being conscious of them. By being fully present when someone is speaking
we are better able to simply listen and give advice only if we are asked.
We don't have to agree with everything or anything that is being said,
but listening with an open mind is respectful to the speaker and it allows us to
understand the other person and ourselves better. By letting go of assumptions
and hearing what is being said, as well as the tone of voice the speaker is
using, we can better understand our differences and perhaps find some
similarities.
Reflect back to the speaker that you understand and
empathize with their feelings of happiness, anxiety, and/or sadness. Ask
questions if you don't understand, but respect boundaries if the speaker seems
uncomfortable. Sometimes, being a good listener means listening to the silence
in between words. Being a good listener is easy - simply listen with your ears,
as well as your heart.
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